It can be incredibly stressful when you know your child is trying hard at school, but seems to be falling behind. their classmates.
You might find yourself wondering:
“Why is this so hard for them?”
“Am I missing something?”
You’re not alone in this.
Sometimes, the answer doesn’t lie in effort or ability—but in the early stages of development.
Looking Beneath the Surface
Success in the classroom is about more than simply reaching a certain age.
Children learn best when they have strong foundations in their early development. Without this, learning often becomes a bit “wobbly”.
When I work with children who are experiencing learning or behavioural challenges, one of the first things I look at is completion of early movement patterns—known as primitive reflexes.
What Are Primitive Reflexes?
Primitive reflexes are natural, automatic movements that develop before your baby is born.
They are usually inhibited (or “switched off”) during the first year of life through movement, floor play, and tummy time.
When these reflexes are retained, they can affect later development—making learning, focus, and coordination much harder than it needs to be.
What You Might Notice
If your child is struggling at school, you might notice:
- poor coordination
- restlessness or difficulty sitting still
- trouble concentrating
- difficulty listening or processing information
- delays in fine or gross motor skills
- challenges with balance, both physically and emotionally
These are all skills that support classroom learning, particularly reading, writing, spelling, and written expression.being able to focus and pay attention.
Behaviour as a Message
I believe that through their bodies, children are bringing us a message.
Rather than seeing these challenges as problems to fix, we can begin by asking:
“What might my child be needing right now?”
Often, the first step is helping your child feel safe, heard, and understood.
From there, we can begin to support their development more effectively.
Understanding Some Key Primitive Reflexes (Simplified)
There are several primitive reflexes that can impact learning. When retained, these primitive reflexes often look like ADHD-type behaviours and underlie reading difficulties, such as dyslexia.
Here are a few of the more common ones:
The Startle Reflex (Moro)
Children with a retained startle reflex may:
- be highly sensitive to noise, touch, or change
- feel anxious or easily overwhelmed
- react quickly or impulsively
Constantly on alert, this can make it very hard to relax and focus in a busy classroom.
Balance (TLR)
This reflex supports balance and muscle tone and the ability to sit upright.
When retained, children may:
- find it difficult to sit still
- struggle to sit comfortably at a desk
- have poor posture
- tire easily
- avoid physical activity
Left and Right Brain Connection (ATNR)
This reflex supports coordination between both sides of the body.
When retained, children may:
- lose their place when reading
- struggle with writing or spelling
- find it difficult to bring thoughts to words
- find it hard to cross the midline (e.g. writing across a page)
- appear clumsy or uncoordinated
- have confusion between left and right
Sitting Still and Focussing (STNR)
This reflex helps children move from tummy creeping to crawling on hands and knees.
When retained, children may:
- appear restless
- fidget constantly
- struggle to sit still
- have difficulty coordinating upper and lower body movements
This can sometimes look similar to ADHD-type behaviours.
Why This Matters for Learning
When these early developmental stages haven’t fully developed, classroom learning can feel overwhelming.
Children may:
- try very hard, but tire quickly and give up
- become frustrated
- lose confidence
- feel like they are “falling behind”
This can affect not only learning, but also confidence, self esteem and emotional wellbeing.
Supporting Your Child
The good news is that we can go back and “fill in” the gaps in early stages of your child’s development.
A gentle assessment can help identify areas where your child may need support, including:
- visual processing (tracking and focusing)
- auditory processing (listening and understanding)
- balance and coordination
From there, simple, targeted activities can help strengthen these foundations, freeing your child for lifelong learning.
It’s Never Too Late
While it’s often easier to support these patterns early on, it’s never too late.
With the right support, children can build the foundations they need for learning, building confidence, and a sense of wellbeing.
A Gentle Next Step
If your child is struggling at school, taking an holistic approach can help by looking beneath what appears on the surface.
The good news is that you don’t have to work this out on your own.
Counselling and parent coaching offer a supportive space to explore what may be happening for your child—and identify the best way to support them.
You Might Also Find Helpful
- “What Are Primitive Reflexes?”
- “Signs of Retained Primitive Reflexes”
