Couples Counselling: what to expect and how it helps

Relationships are never static. Our partners can bring out both the best and the worst in us, and there is always the potential to learn and grow together.

Perhaps you find yourselves arguing more often, disagreeing about parenting issues, or having arguments that keep going round in circles.

Maybe you are struggling to agree on some big life decisions, such as marriage, starting a family, moving house… or would just like to feel closer and understand each other better.

Talking to an impartial third person can help to resolve your differences, and open channels to better communication.

Concerns that People Bring to Couples Counselling 

  • Constant fighting or bickering
  • Burying your feelings
  • Strengthening your relationship
  • Feeling ignored or misunderstood
  • Becoming distant, moving apart
  • Difficulties in communication
  • Conflict over children and parenting styles
  • Power struggles
  • Trust and commitment
  • Financial disagreements
  • Circling around the same issues
  • Repeating the same arguments
  • Feeling left out, partner prioritises the children.

How Relationship and Couples Counselling Can Help

Change may happen gradually, often as a result of life changes, such as becoming parents, moving house, children leaving home, starting school…suddenly you find you are out of touch with each other.

There’s no need to wait until things are really falling apart. Addressing your concerns before they reach this point mean they can be resolved much more easily.

Two things that are guaranteed to bring up our early attachment wounding are parenting and adult relationships. We bring  our unresolved past with us into our relationships. 

A certain level of conflict in a relationship is quite normal. The trick is learning how to deal with it safely and without hurt. Supportive intimate relationships can be a place of healing and personal growth for you both.

We all have a choice. We can choose to learn and grow within our relationships, or stay stuck in a loop, continually repeating the problems from the past.

Couples Counselling is not about being right or wrong, but learning how to see things from another person’s perspective. The aim is closer relationships based on understanding and connection.

Benefits of Couples Counselling 

  • Improved communication 
  • Deeper friendship and intimacy
  • Learning new skills to deal with conflict and improve communication
  • Releasing past hurts
  • Feeling safe to voice your feelings
  • Learning how to express your own needs and listen to your partner’s needs
  • Growing through resolving areas of conflict 
  • Greater awareness, creating a more fulfilling and supportive relationship
  • Removing blockages to a closer emotional connection, 

Your counsellor is not here to “fix” you, you’re not broken. Rather, their role is. more of a coach or guide, helping you  learn how to work things out for yourselves. 

It’s never too early or too late to work on your relationship.

Your First Session

Counselling usually starts with us getting to know each other. I’ll ask questions about your relationship, how you met, how long you’ve been together and any particular areas of conflict. We can discuss your goals for therapy, and any specific areas that you would like to work on.

Subsequent Sessions

Subsequent sessions provide an opportunity to gradually work through your current concerns, and any long-standing issues. You will be learning new skills of communication, developing a secure attachment based on understanding and connection.

Tips for Raising Happy Healthy Children

If you find yourselves disagreeing on parenting issues, this might help! Download our FREE e-book Tips for Raising Happy, Healthy Children

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All articles are based on personal in-clinic experience, and are supported by current research into brain science. They have been written for general education purposes and do not constitute personal advice. If you are a parent, I encourage you to seek professional support.

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About Rosalind

Rosalind is a PACFA Registered Clinical Counsellor, with over 20 years experience in working with children with challenging behaviours and learning differences. She brings an holistic, or whole person approach to supporting parents, helping them raise children able to realise their potential. to live happy and successful lives. Appointments are available in person at Moruya on the NSW south coast and online Australia-wide.

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Tips for Raising Happy Healthy Children

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