Q: Why are mornings so much harder than the rest of the day?
A: Children need time to transition between the world of dreams, and coming into the reality of their day
Young children inhabit a world of dreaming – you’ll notice this in their imagination play. Mornings will be easier if you can adapt to what they are needing at this time
- Try getting up an hour before your child, so you have time to settle into your day gently, before the morning pressures of getting your family ready
- Wake your child gently, allowing them a few minutes to move slowly into daytime consciousness.
- As with bedtime, try to establish and follow a regular morning routine. It will save arguments when your child knows automatically what will happen
- Avoid rushing, as this will only create more stress
- Find time to be playful.
- Connect with them where they are at, using a gentle vocal tone, and making eye contact
- Try stepping into your child’s world, asking yourself “What does my child need right now?”
- Notice your own stress levels. If you’re starting the day feeling stressed, your children will likely join you.
- Be gentle with yourself. Taking a deep breath, and exhaling slowly is a great way to release stress.
Q: How do I stop meltdowns from happening every morning?
A: Stressful mornings are a common parenting problem. Here are my tips for easier, more peaceful mornings
- Start the morning routine earlier – even 10 or 15 minutes can make a big difference
- Keep to the routine, keep mornings predictable. Children feel safer when they can anticipate what is going to happen next.
- If hunger sets them up for a meltdown, try food first. Breakfast doesn’t have to be elaborate. Their tummy might just be ready for something simple – yogurt, cereal, toast or a drink of milk. Other children might be looking for something more substantial, like eggs, baked beans or cheese on toast.
- If you sense the tension rising, perhaps allow for some quiet time together. Your child will take their lead from your behaviour.
- Use a soft vocal tone, make eye contact, connecting with your child where they are at, will help calm them.
- Have clothes laid out the night before, and school lunches prepared to save time in the morning
- Offer simple instructions. Your child might not be ready for processing too much information while they are still waking up
- Avoid television before school. It’s easy for children to get caught up in watching a favourite program, and you’ll have another challenge to deal with!
- Offer empathy and understanding. Behaviours are your child’s way of communicating when words aren’t available
Q: Mornings are making me really stressed, and I feel exhausted. What can I do?
A: Stressful mornings are a common parenting problem
Firstly, be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to be supermum or superdad. Following some of the tips above, such as establishing and following a regular morning routine will go a long way to making mornings easier.
Talk to your partner about sharing the morning chores. Maybe one of you can prepare breakfast, while the other attends to helping children to get dressed.
If parenting challenges feel overwhelming, you are not alone! We all struggle at times, and it’s OK to reach out for help.
Often, simply talking to an empathic listener can help. Holistic Counselling and Parent Coaching offers support in a space where you can feel seen, heard and understood, without judgement.
Working together, you can develop strategies to suit your family’s needs and lifestyle. Holistic counselling offers the opportunity to look a little deeper, processing any underlying concerns, creating lifelong change.
