Parent coaching is a way of helping you to be the parent you want to be. We all have times when we feel we are struggling as parents, and it’s not only when our children are small.
Once upon a time, new parents were surrounded by family – parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles. We learnt about parenting by being with this extended “village” – other children, our siblings, cousins, etc. and watching other members of our “tribe”.
Today, many of us find ourselves parenting in relative isolation, without the support of an extended family. Often, the first child we experience is our own, leaving many of us reeling in shock.
You are not Alone
For many, this can be a scary time, coupled with feelings of isolation, and a need to adjust to a temporary loss of a second income. Add to this other challenges, like hormonal changes, lack of sleep and it’s no wonder many new parents can feel a bit lost and unsure. Rest assured, you are not alone.
Perhaps you have read all the parenting books, but somehow, this doesn’t really help when faced with a baby who has been crying for hours. Maybe you have a child who comes home from a day at school, angry and tempestuous, yelling at everyone.
Social media offers so much information, not all of it researched or factual, and you feel like you are swimming through mud. Perhaps well meaning grandparents might like to offer advice. No wonder it can all feel just too overwhelming.
What is Parent Coaching?
Parent coaching offers a safe, non-judgemental place where you can talk openly about aspects of parenting that you are finding difficult. Let’s face it, none of us was born with a rule book, and each child brings a new set of challenges.
Then, just when you think you have it all sorted, something changes, and it’s back to square one again! Or another child arrives with a completely different temperament, and you’re a beginner all over again.
Your parenting coach will listen, empathise and offer support, and is interested in you and your family. This is someone who has read all those books you don’t have time for, done the research, and has undertaken further training in child development.
Become Confident in your Parenting Skills
Build confidence in your parenting skills, and learn how to move away from that critical voice that is undermining your confidence. You already have the answers. My role is to help you to unlock them.
Parent coaching is collaborative. I am not here to tell you what to do. Rather, we will work together to develop solutions that work best for you and your family, helping you to be the parent that deep down you know you can be.
The focus is on learning through experience, rather than teaching. Between sessions, you will have time to put new processes into practise, then talk them through in your next session. We become a partnership, as you grow in awareness, and your parenting skills develop.
Create a New Parenting Story
We all bring beliefs and patterns of behaviour from our own childhoods into our parenting, even if we don’t realise it. Maybe you want to parent differently from how your parents did it, but are not sure how to make those changes. Perhaps you and your partner came from very different backgrounds and clash over issues like discipline.
Parent coaching can help you to change your family story, create a new narrative. Often, we inadvertently replay our own childhood challenges as parents. Counselling can help you to “change the tape”, building closer relationships, learning from your own triggered responses.
Today’s child is growing up in a world that is very different form the world your parents and grandparents grew up in. What worked for them may not be right for you and your children. Parent coaching can help you to bring parenting into the twenty first century.
Parenting with Presence
Being present with your child when they are expressing “big feelings” can challenge even the best of us. What if I said that what is commonly seen as naughty, or “attention seeking” may actually be your child’s bid for connection?
You’ve probably noticed that when your are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, these are the times that your children seem to be at their most difficult. The good news is that when are able to regulate our own emotional responses, our children also become calmer.
Recent brain research has confirmed what some have known all along –that treating children with respect and kindness, connecting with them on an emotional level, and managing our own stress and anger can create positive changes in a child’s brain. The results? Fewer meltdowns, better problem-solving skills, higher emotional intelligence and a (generally) more peaceful home.
Who is Parent Coaching for?
Parents. Yes, people just like you!
We all face struggles at times, and your parenting coach is here to help you process the difficult moments, the challenges. You will learn new ways of doing things, leaving behind old thought patterns and behaviours that no longer serve you.
Issues you might like to bring to a parent coaching session include:
- Angry outbursts, meltdowns
- Teenage mood swings
- Toddler tantrums
- Anxiety, bullying, depression
- Learning difficulties, school refusal
- Signs of ADHD, neurodivergence or other diagnoses
- Bedtime and mealtime challenges
- Sibling rivalry
Parenting at all Ages and Stages
Parenting can bring challenges at any age. Life transitions can create uncertainty at all stages of life, from children starting school, entering those dreaded teenage years, leaving home, to even starting families of their own.
Parent coaching can support you to move through these transitions with minimal disturbance. There’s no shame is asking for help and guidance.
What Happens in a Parent Coaching Session?
The focus in your first session is a time for you to share your family story, and what is disturbing you. You can tell me about your children, the problems, but also their gifts, and the joy they bring into your life.
We will start to explore underlying reasons for your child’s challenging behaviours, how to deal with them, and what those behaviours might be trying to communicate
In order to obtain a picture of your family, I might ask about:
- Any major disturbances of events in your child’s early years
- Your family history
- Your childhood experiences
- How you respond when their behaviour is triggering for you
- Are you both on the same page with parenting
- Your decision to become parents
Reaching Out
If this resonates with you, and you would like to have a chat about setting some parenting goals, or even just need to talk to a compassionate listener, please give me a call.
