Parenting can ask a lot of you
As a therapist I know I can’t be present with my clients if I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed.
The same is true for you as a parent. When you’re giving so much of yourself to everyone else around you, it can be hard to remain calm and present with your children.
There’s nothing wrong with taking some time out for yourself, especially when you are giving so much of yourself to others
You may have noticed that when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, your child sometimes seems more unsettled too. Taking a moment to ground yourself can help prevent everyone’s stress from escalating.
Noticing when your own cup is empty
When you’re busy, it’s not always easy to notice when your own emotional cup needs attention.
Maybe you notice yourself:
- feeling helpless, flat or emotionally drained
- feeling frustrated, anxious or worried
- becoming increasingly irritated by little things
- noticing your voice becoming louder, sharper or more high-pitched
- holding tension in your shoulders or jaw
These moments don’t mean you’re failing as a parent. They are often a sign that you need some support too.
Maybe you’ve noticed these signs in your children, too.
These are signs that their emotional cup might need filling, as well.
Time for you
This is a time to be gentle with yourself, perhaps offering yourself the same kindness you would offer to a friend. It’s OK not to be perfect.
Instead of judging yourself, try becoming curious about what you’re experiencing. You might also notice that pesky inner voice telling you you’re not good enough. Maybe try “changing the tape”, speaking to yourself with kindness?
As you become less critical of yourself, you might notice yourself feeling less defensive, more open and curious, and more grounded and present.
Self-compassion makes it easier to move out of that cycling of everyday stresses, finding your way forward.
Baby steps are fine – you’re learning new ways of being with and caring for yourself.
Micro-moments of Self-Care
It can feel a bit self-indulgent to allow yourself to take time out for yourself initially.
Self-care doesn’t have to mean finding hours you don’t have. Sometimes it’s the tiny moments, repeated throughout the day, that make the biggest difference.
Just a few minutes can help you to feel better:
- Relax your jaw and drop your shoulders
- Breathe – exhale slowly
- Speak nicely to yourself (change the tape of your inner dialogue)
- Connect with nature – look out the window, watch the clouds floating, notice a slight breeze moving the leaves on a tree, flowers in the garden
- Yoga and meditation
- Craft activities, like knitting can be calming – even simple activities like finger knitting can help!
When you feel calmer, you might find it’s easier to support your children when they are struggling emotionally.
One of my favourite ways to slow down and reconnect with myself is to spend time in nature. I notice my breathing slowing, my jaw relaxing and I often begin to yawn—all signs that I’m beginning to let go of some of the tension I’ve been carrying.
I also love to knit and enjoy connecting with others through a social craft group. You might have other ways of slowing down. The important thing is finding what works for you and helps bring you back to yourself.
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Can Spending Time in Nature Help Us Feel Calmer?
Counselling Support for Parents
Sometimes small moments of self-care are enough to help us reset. At other times, we may need a little more support.
If parenting is feeling overwhelming, or you’d simply like a space to talk about what’s happening for you, you’re very welcome to reach out.
Holistic counselling and parent coaching offer a calm, supportive space to explore what you’re experiencing and what might help.
