When your child is struggling with reading, it’s natural to want to help.
For many parents, it can be hard to know where to begin, especially when their child seems restless or reluctant to spend time with books and would rather be doing something else they enjoy more.
If reading time has become stressful, you might find yourself wondering whether to encourage them to keep trying, or if it could be better to step back for a while.
Maybe you’re feeling pressured by school expectations to “read to your child every night“, or help them with their take-home readers each evening?
When life is busy and stressful, adding homework to you day can feel like just too much. If this sounds like you, you’re not alone.
Many other parents are also finding homework difficult to fit into their evenings, particularly at the end of a day at work, when there’s other things to attend to, like dinner, and your child’s bedtime routine.
Sometimes, the most helpful place to start is not with reading itself, but with how your child is feeling about it.
Start with Connection
When your child feels safe and relaxed, they are more likely to be interested in reading with you.
Before focusing on actually reading, it can help to create a space of calm, finding a quiet spot, away from interruptions, where you can sit and enjoy a book together.
When reading feels pressured, children may become anxious, frustrated or reluctant to try. When they’re already feeling overwhelmed, asking them to try harder can often make things more difficult.
This doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t want to learn. It’s easy for a child to lose confidence when they feel they are continually struggling or getting things wrong.
Sometimes, taking the pressure off can be the best place to start.
Make Reading an Enjoyable Experience
Often, it’s the little things that can help your child to discover the joys of reading books.
Let your child see you reading, and find opportunities to share books together. You might read aloud, explore books with interesting pictures, or try offering graphic novels if these appeal to your child.
The most important thing is to find a subject area that your child enjoys. Perhaps they love sport, animals, humour or a particular hobby. Books connected to their interests can give them a reason to engage, even when reading itself feels difficult.
Sometimes, simply sharing a story for a few minutes, without pressure or expectations, is a good place to begin.
For your child, it’s often the connection and spending time with you that matters just as much as the actual reading!
Follow Your Child’s Lead
Notice how your child responds when you read together.
There may be times when they are interested, relaxed and willing to have a go. These are the times when you can enjoy exploring books and stories together without making reading feel like a chore.
At other times, your child may become reluctant, frustrated or distressed. They may seem to be trying hard but still not understand what they are reading.
When this happens, it’s often better to pause and take a break. Little can be achieved when everyone is feeling stressed.
Children develop at different rates, at not every child is ready to read simply because they have reached a certain age.
However, if you are concerned, and reading continues to be a struggle, it may be worth looking more closely at what might be making it difficult for your child.
My Story
When my daughter started school, she wasn’t interested in reading. In her first year, she was expected to bring home a reader every night. to practise at home.
As I had already started studying child development, I wasn’t worried. I felt there was no rush, and it was better to wait until she was interested.
She was 8 when I started home schooling. I chose to follow a creative approach to reading, as is used in Steiner/ Waldorf schools. As a creative person, she responded well to this approach, and I loved seeing her confidence grow as we worked together.
At the same time, we were also building a lovely close relationship.
She also practised by reading packaging labels on foods at the supermarket. Thinking outside the square can make reading more interesting, and suddenly, they are reading without realising it!
Her father also read to her every evening, often taking turns to read a chapter each, until one evening, she picked up the book and continued with the story by herself.
Sometimes, children just need help to develop their confidence, and realise “I can“.
Reading Is About More Than Books
Learning to read is actually a complex process, involving a range of skills.
Children need to be able to recognise sounds, linking them to the letters on the page. Then they need to be able to combine those sounds and letters to form words, and make sense of it all.
Some children may struggle to focus on all these aspects at one time. In the classroom there are many other things competing for their attention, including general background noise, and the need to sit still at their desk. For some, so many sensations can feel overwhelming.
If your child is struggling to read, asking them to keep trying harder may not be the answer. Perhaps you are wondering:
- “What is making reading difficult for this child?”
- “How can I make reading easier and more enjoyable for this child?”
Understanding where the difficulty lies can help you work out what kind of support may be helpful.
Some children benefit from additional, explicit reading instruction. Others may need help with aspects of language, attention or other difficulties that are affecting their learning. Sometimes, a broader look at a child’s development can help identify additional areas that are worth exploring.
The important thing is to understand what is making reading difficult for your child as an individual, rather than assuming that the same approach will work for everyone.
Finding a Way Forward
Even just offering a quiet relaxed space can help your child to see reading as a pleasure rather than a chore.
Watching your child struggle with reading can be worrying, particularly when you’re unsure what they need.
Perhaps reading was difficult for you as a child, too. Or maybe you’re feeling pressured by school expectations and wondering whether you’re doing enough.
There is more than one way to support a child who is learning to read. Understanding your child’s needs, finding an approach that suits them, and taking the pressure off where you can may help you find a way forward together.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, or your child’s experiences are bringing up some of your own childhood memories, you’re welcome to reach out.
You don’t have to work it all out on your own.
Work With Me
