It’s hard to know what to do when your child simply refuses to go to school, despite your best efforts to encourage them.
After all, they’re expected to attend, aren’t they?
You might be dealing with:
- complaints of headaches or tummy aches
- anger and defiance in the mornings
- tears, or complete shutdown, and refusal to leave their room
These behaviours are often described as “school refusal” or “school avoidance“.
It’s Not Just “Refusal”
For many children, this isn’t about defiance.
They’re not being naughty. The fears are very real
Looking Beneath the Surface
When we look beyond the behaviour, we often find signs of stress or anxiety.
It may be that your child:
- feels overwhelmed in the classroom
- struggles to cope in busy environments
- doesn’t feel safe or settled at school
When your child’s nervous system finds an environment threatening, it becomes very difficult to:
- focus
- listen to understand
- pay attention
- process information
- manage emotions
What Can Help
Understanding the “why” behind the behaviour is the first step.
Often, children who refuse school are struggling to process sensory information.
Their behaviour is the clue.
Once we understand this, we can begin to support them, finding ways of helping them to feel safe.
Your child will appreciate your empathy and understanding – going to school can feel really tough.
A Gentle Next Step
I know what it is like to have a child who is not enjoying school – a child who often took a lot of persuading to attend, and also had big after school meltdowns.
If your child is struggling with school attendance, it’s quite normal for you to be feeling the pressure, too
It’s OK to reach out and ask for help.
You don’t need to face these struggles alone.
If you would like help with understanding with your child’s struggles, you are welcome to reach out.
These Might Help
Understanding What Your Child May be Feeling
Learning is More than Just Reading and Writing
When School Feels Unsafe: Understanding Your Child’s Nervous System
